~

Good night and sweet dreams. You know who you are.

jika kau dengar hatiku

berbisik memanggil namamu

bayangmu seakan menjelma nyata

walau jarak memisahkan

kupandang senja memerah

menyimpan kisah tentang kau dan aku

berharap semua kan berlalu

hingga tiba waktu kan kutemukanmu

disini sendiri jauh darimu

ku lewati malam sepi menghujam

tanpamu kurasakan mati

tak seperti saat kau disisi

tanpamu tak ada gairah

kau tulis namamu di dalam hatiku

dan kau ada di setiap mimpiku

hariku

~

ku merindukanmu.

One of life’s hardest lessons to learn is that you can only change yourself.

Some people spend inordinate amounts of time and energy upset, angry, or frustrated by other people’s thoughts and behaviors.

But to what end? You can rail against the rain or feel sanguine about the snow, but there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Why should we, by default, believe we can change another person’s – an independent, thinking self just like us – behaviors and thoughts with just a few choice words? If you think about it for a minute, it sounds kind of ridiculous.

Yet we don’t think about it when we have an emotional reaction to someone else’s behavior or words. We say things like, “How could they say such a thing!” or “How can anyone be so rude!?” or “Don’t they know how much they hurt me? Why do they do that?!”

We often react in this way because our emotions are a part of most people’s innate decision-making skills. We react and respond emotionally to emotional needs of our own, rather than in a logical, rational manner. So when someone touches one of these emotional needs, we can respond in a way that may not make a whole lot of sense to an outside observer.

Repeating something over and over again doesn’t suddenly make people more aware of themselves, it just makes them aware of how annoying you can be.

So save yourself some frustration today and try to learn to stop trying to change others. Focus instead on changing your own faults and you may find yourself living a happier and more peaceful life.

~

…

Living like pearl in the pearl of Asia!

Gonna live in this small region of Republic of China (forever I guess) and I totally can not wait for many new things ahead! I’m going to be a Chinese!! Oops, did I say that out loud?

…

Shame, such a shame
I think I kind of lost myself again
Day, yesterday
Really should be leaving but I stay

Fade, made to fade
Passion’s overrated anyway
Say, say my name
I need a little love to ease the pain
I need a little love to ease the pain
It’s easy to remember when it came

‘Cause it feels like I’ve been
I’ve been here before
You are not my savior
But I still don’t go

Feels like something
That I’ve done before
I could fake it
But I still want more

…

~

Change everything you are and everything you were
Your number has been called.
Fights and battles have begun!
Revenge will surely come..
Your hard times are ahead.

Best. You’ve got to be the best.
You’ve got to change the world and use this chance to be heard.
Your time is now. YOUR TiME iS NOW.

Don’t let yourself down
Don’t let yourself go
Your last chance has arrived.

~

~

GOOD PEOPLE

CAN BE BAD.

BAD PEOPLE

CAN BE WORST.

~

I’M IN THE EDGE OF GETTING WORST. WATCH ME. A NEW LIFE FOR YOU HAS COME..

IN GRAVE.

~

*

It’s true, we’re all a little insane.
But it’s so clear,
Now that I’m unchained.

Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds
but it’s taking over all the time.

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me.
Don’t deny sweet sacrifice.

One day
I’m gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you’re gonna drown in my lost pain.

Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds
but it’s taking over all the time.

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
And oh you love to hate me, don’t you, honey?
I’m your sacrifice.

(I dream in darkness I sleep to die,
Erase the silence, Erase my life.)

Do you wonder why you hate? (Our burning ashes, Blacken the day)
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes? (A world of nothingness, Blow me away.)

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me.
Don’t deny.
Sweet sacrifice.

Evanescence.

*

*

Broken people get recycled
And I hope that I will.
Sometimes we’re thrown off our pathways
What I thought was my way home
Wasn’t the place I know
I’m certain nothing’s certain
What we own becomes our prison
My possessions will be gone
Back to where they came from

See the rock that you hold onto
Is it gonna save you
When the earth begins to crumble?
Why do you feel you have to hold on?
Imagine if you let go

Wash away the weight that pulls you down
Ride the waves that free you from the dusk?

Don’t trust your eyes
Its easy to believe them
Know in your heart
That you can leave your prison

Don’t trust your mind
It’s not always listening
Turn on the lights
And feel the ancient rhythm

Blame, no one is to blame
As natural as the rain that falls
Here comes the Flood again

*

… even if it leads nowhere.

*

It’s bugging me, grating me
And twisting me around
Yeah I’m endlessly caving in
And turning inside out

’cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I’m breaking out
I’m breaking out
Last chance to lose control

It’s holding me, morphing me
And forcing me to strive
To be endlessly cold within
And dreaming I’m alive

’cause I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I’m not breaking down
I’m breaking out
Last chance to lose control

And I want you now
I want you now
I’ll feel my heart implode
And I’m breaking out
Escaping now
Feeling my faith erode

~

Muse.

… cuz she needs somebody to tell her that you’ll always be together.
So tell me have you ever really .. really really ever loved a woman?

~

*

And no. It is not about ‘crush’.

Bawa Aku Bersama Anginmu..

… a direction.

*

Everyday’s the same
I feel them merge
I try to separate
Resist the urge
But they tell me
I’ll be fine
That it will all get better
Just try to write it down
Or put it in a letter
But the words won’t play
And there’s no
Easy way to say
Goodbye, goodbye

Keep my head on straight
And don’t look down
With all I’ve pushed away
I’m losing ground
But they tell me
I’ll be fine
That it will all get better
Just try to write it down
Or put it in a letter

And from the sidelines
Watch me fall down

And I don’t understand
The things I do
But I’ll probably be fine
As long as I keep moving
I’ll try to write it down
So things just keep improving

Still the words won’t play
‘Cause there’s no
Easy way to say
Goodbye, goodbye

…

” Disappointment always has and always will be. “

True say. Lately my days didn’t go well, it went down. I have been struggling with my own wrongdoing which brutally effected my brain and ended with a guiltiness. I disappointed with my self but can’t blame anything. It is so easy to say what is behind us let it stays behind, look what is in front of you. I can’t.

And now, another situation came that I have to make a solution. Again I disappointed. Worst is some people I cared have to feel it too. I am sorry. We may plan on something but if it doesn’t go well, we have to do a favor for that initiatively. I am disappointing myself, I am disappointing yourself. It doesn’t easy to make this decision but what I decide is for the best thing. I only want one thing that from this disappointment you will help or guide me to arise me. You all are the closest people I have and it won’t change. I need your support  so I can start this all over again. I beg you.

Trust me, you don’t want to know what had happened to me in the past few weeks and I don’t want to make another disappointment.

Believe in me. I am tired with everything indeed, but i never disregard my responsibility.

~

*

*

I’m tired of looking (It’s not in my vision)
I’m tired of seeing (Don’t wanna see this)
I’m tired of hearing (Don’t tell me your shit)
I’m tired of being (So why am I here?)
I’m tired of life (And all of its jokes)
Imaginary lines (To fool the fools)
Imaginary rules (To live your life by)
And all the worlds’ fools
Life is so easy when you’re told what to do
Where to work and how to be you
But the jokes wears off and you’re still laughing
Caught in your own trap and you’re all happy
Too stupid to know it (Just try use your head)
Too stupid to care (You’ve all been fooled)

~

I WISH YOU WERE HERE.

*