In a book- in a box- in the closet
In a line- in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch late one june
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon

There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tounge
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
And I let it all slip away..

What do I do now that you’re gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains..
Are the words I couldnt say.

There’s a rain that will never stop fallin
There’s a wall that I tried to take down
What I should have said just wouldnt pass my lips
So I held back and now we’ve come to this
And it’s too late now..

What do I do now that your gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains..
Are the words I couldnt say…

~

As the cat, brown
chocolate brown of your eyes
it is thus;
life is a vice
i am a vice
to those who would use me.

as ive told you
ive lost most of my vices
but i manage to pick up
new ones
such are you
flowing green and alive.

And so i create me for you daily
Pour me out with the coffee
fill a white porcelain cup
and im drunk from it.

You are vivid and
hot, perspiring
as sweet scented as pine trees
ive not yet had my fill
i would eat you up with all the cliches
i choked down in love.

~

Good night and sweet dreams. You know who you are.

‎2011 was a whirlwind of a year for me. I was in love and was so sure , didn’t care of certain things, went to Bali,  heartbreak, called off my relationship, i lost two precious persons, i was in a serious illness, but now happily single, struggled with a loss, traveled all over asia and europe and living a nomad lifestyle and been living in my suitcase, met really great people in Jakarta, HK, Bali and Berlin that i now consider my friends and a part of my life, on a quest to be better person….. It was indeed one hell of a ride. Reflecting on 2011 is bittersweet. I celebrate the good and especially the bad. I could not be happier where i am at right now and truly believe that everything happens for a reason and i am meant to be where i am right now. I don’t know what 2012 has in store for me but i’m hoping it’ll be full of love, laughter and happiness.

I love u guys and I celebrate being a part of ur life. I truly feel honored.

A beautiful thing takes place:
the evil as short as the sound.

the snow has abandoned its whiteness,
the touch its body.

in order to make a blood-
bathed body white again,

we have abandoned
our measures & persuasions:

we have afforded ourselves a joy
of being blind, deaf & dumb.

in their newly created lightness
things bounce and never come back.

What can I do, yeah
What can I do when my thoughts when I’m around
you say you assume me
wonder how I feel about, wonder how I think about
Maybe I’ll go away, maybe I’ll go your way..

To you, to me, to my world, to your world
I’m a feel left out when you feel left out
Is it you, is it me, I’m do it by entering your world
I know how to act, I know how to feel
Around you, about you, how do you feel?

Can I wake up next to you?
Will you wake up next to me?
Tomorrow, forever and ever, I don’t know..
Will you stay right here?
Will you go away?
I feel lost, I feel safe
I don’t know where to belong
To you, to me, to my world, to your world
I’m a feel left out when you feel left out
Is it you, is it me, I’ma do it by entering your world
I know how to act, I know how to feel
Around you, about you, how do you feel?

Can I wake up next to you?
Will you wake up next to me?
Tomorrow, forever and ever, I don’t know..
Will you stay right here?
Will you go away?
I feel lost, I feel safe
I don’t know where to belong.

~

Dad.

I don’t know what you want and I don’t know what I have to do with you. Anymore.

jika kau dengar hatiku

berbisik memanggil namamu

bayangmu seakan menjelma nyata

walau jarak memisahkan

kupandang senja memerah

menyimpan kisah tentang kau dan aku

berharap semua kan berlalu

hingga tiba waktu kan kutemukanmu

disini sendiri jauh darimu

ku lewati malam sepi menghujam

tanpamu kurasakan mati

tak seperti saat kau disisi

tanpamu tak ada gairah

kau tulis namamu di dalam hatiku

dan kau ada di setiap mimpiku

hariku

~

ku merindukanmu.

One of life’s hardest lessons to learn is that you can only change yourself.

Some people spend inordinate amounts of time and energy upset, angry, or frustrated by other people’s thoughts and behaviors.

But to what end? You can rail against the rain or feel sanguine about the snow, but there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Why should we, by default, believe we can change another person’s – an independent, thinking self just like us – behaviors and thoughts with just a few choice words? If you think about it for a minute, it sounds kind of ridiculous.

Yet we don’t think about it when we have an emotional reaction to someone else’s behavior or words. We say things like, “How could they say such a thing!” or “How can anyone be so rude!?” or “Don’t they know how much they hurt me? Why do they do that?!”

We often react in this way because our emotions are a part of most people’s innate decision-making skills. We react and respond emotionally to emotional needs of our own, rather than in a logical, rational manner. So when someone touches one of these emotional needs, we can respond in a way that may not make a whole lot of sense to an outside observer.

Repeating something over and over again doesn’t suddenly make people more aware of themselves, it just makes them aware of how annoying you can be.

So save yourself some frustration today and try to learn to stop trying to change others. Focus instead on changing your own faults and you may find yourself living a happier and more peaceful life.

~

*

So serious, all the time
I feel restrained.
I feel confined.
I cannot take your whispering, your whispering

So insecure, so uptight
I break my neck, to be polite
I cannot take your whispering, your whispering

I wanna dance without you
For now let me lose myself
I wanna dance without you
For now let me lose myself
Let me lose myself

How can I make history, with your choreography?
Take your hands off me, Take your hands off me
Before I suffocate

I wanna dance without you
For now let me lose myself
I wanna dance without you
For now let me lose myself
Let me lose myself

Fuck Off.

…

Living like pearl in the pearl of Asia!

Gonna live in this small region of Republic of China (forever I guess) and I totally can not wait for many new things ahead! I’m going to be a Chinese!! Oops, did I say that out loud?

…

Shame, such a shame
I think I kind of lost myself again
Day, yesterday
Really should be leaving but I stay

Fade, made to fade
Passion’s overrated anyway
Say, say my name
I need a little love to ease the pain
I need a little love to ease the pain
It’s easy to remember when it came

‘Cause it feels like I’ve been
I’ve been here before
You are not my savior
But I still don’t go

Feels like something
That I’ve done before
I could fake it
But I still want more

…

Do you still remember
How we used to be
Feeling together, believe in whatever
My love has said to me
Both of us were dreamers
Young love in the sun
Felt like my saviour, my spirit I gave ya
We’d only just begun

Hasta Manana,
Always be mine

Viva forever, I’ll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Yes I still remember,
Every whispered word
The touch of your skin, giving life from within
Like a love song that I’d heard
Slipping through our fingers,
Like the sands of time
Promises made, every memory saved
Has reflections in my mind

Hasta Manana,
Always be mine

Back where I belong now,
Was it just a dream
Feelings unfold, they will never be sold
And the secret’s safe with me

Hasta Manana,
Always be mine

~

~

Change everything you are and everything you were
Your number has been called.
Fights and battles have begun!
Revenge will surely come..
Your hard times are ahead.

Best. You’ve got to be the best.
You’ve got to change the world and use this chance to be heard.
Your time is now. YOUR TiME iS NOW.

Don’t let yourself down
Don’t let yourself go
Your last chance has arrived.

~

~

GOOD PEOPLE

CAN BE BAD.

BAD PEOPLE

CAN BE WORST.

~

I’M IN THE EDGE OF GETTING WORST. WATCH ME. A NEW LIFE FOR YOU HAS COME..

IN GRAVE.

~

~

” I’ll pick you up when you’re down. Be there when no-one’s around. “

~

*

“My favorites boys just collaborating to each other! Happy!”

I made this silly picture to killed my disappointment moment and surprisingly it cured me in a snap! and I realised this two guys always making me smile. There is no reason to be sad anymore =)) |  N-ter and Jason Statham ♥.

Please do not copy the picture. Thank you xo

*

*

It’s true, we’re all a little insane.
But it’s so clear,
Now that I’m unchained.

Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds
but it’s taking over all the time.

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me.
Don’t deny sweet sacrifice.

One day
I’m gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you’re gonna drown in my lost pain.

Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds
but it’s taking over all the time.

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
And oh you love to hate me, don’t you, honey?
I’m your sacrifice.

(I dream in darkness I sleep to die,
Erase the silence, Erase my life.)

Do you wonder why you hate? (Our burning ashes, Blacken the day)
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes? (A world of nothingness, Blow me away.)

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me.
Don’t deny.
Sweet sacrifice.

Evanescence.

*

*

Broken people get recycled
And I hope that I will.
Sometimes we’re thrown off our pathways
What I thought was my way home
Wasn’t the place I know
I’m certain nothing’s certain
What we own becomes our prison
My possessions will be gone
Back to where they came from

See the rock that you hold onto
Is it gonna save you
When the earth begins to crumble?
Why do you feel you have to hold on?
Imagine if you let go

Wash away the weight that pulls you down
Ride the waves that free you from the dusk?

Don’t trust your eyes
Its easy to believe them
Know in your heart
That you can leave your prison

Don’t trust your mind
It’s not always listening
Turn on the lights
And feel the ancient rhythm

Blame, no one is to blame
As natural as the rain that falls
Here comes the Flood again

*